Going as Expected

I intended to publish this post on January 28th, 2024 (ie: a little over one week after Trump took office). This was going to be a rough attempt to document some of the insanity from Trump's first week in office. As we already know, it's already gotten far, far worse than this.

Anyway, enjoy this blast of nostalgia from the early days of Trump's 2nd term!

Week 1

No Mercy for You!

A Bishop petitioned Trump to lead with mercy and kindness.

Trump and his goons lashed out publicly, and some even demanded that she be deported from the country.

Condemn and destroy those who petition for peace. ♱

Pardoned all of the Insurrectionists

During an interview, JD Vance stated that January 6th participants who committed violence obviously shouldn't be pardoned.

Hours into his term, Trump issued a blanket pardon for all of the insurrectionists.

Reward and protect those who commit violence in Trump's name. 🔫

Required all Federal Employees to return to office

Except... many agencies do not have offices large enough to accommodate all of their staff.

Many key leadership personnel are also fully remote, so fuck them, I guess?

(Future Brian here! On February 4th, Trump and Musk also demanded the termination of federal office leases. So, now people are supposed to return to office, but the offices are also closing. Wat?)

Stated that he wants to dismantle FEMA

Trump made it very clear that he intends to dismantle FEMA and make individual States responsible for their own disaster relief.

Exemplify "Personal Responsibility" by abandoning those in need. ♱

Threatened to withhold federal aid from California

Trump declared that he would withhold aid for California's wildfires until they instated Voter ID and "Released the Water".

Extortion isn't corrupt as long as Trump's enemies are the one's who suffer. 💖

Trump "Released the Water"

In a publicity stunt, Trump released water that was reserved for California's summer crops, pretending that this would somehow fix California's wildfires (which had already been contained by this point). This action was not coordinated with any of the downstream reservoirs, and thus the water was wasted.

(Oops -- it looks like this happened during Trump's 2nd week. My bad!)

Give the people what they want, even if it's detrimental to their wellbeing! 🌊

Begin Mass Deportations

Trump began rolling out mass deportations across the country. To satiate his ravenous base, he recruited Dr. Phil to televise some of the raids in Chicago as they were happening.

Cruelty is fine as long as you make it entertaining! 🍿

Began a Trade War with Colombia

Trump sent several deportees to Colombia in a military plane. The Colombian President thought that the use of a military plane was only appropriate for violent criminals; therefore, he refused to allow any of the planes to land until Trump agreed to "the dignified, respectful, and humane treatment of deportees", as per the terms of their agreement with the United States. He even offered to send his own civilian planes to the United States to pick up the deportees.

Trump responded to this perfectly reasonable request by threatening to destroy Colombia's economy with 25% tariffs, which would rise to 50% tariffs after 1 week.

Colombia begrudgingly relented and accepted the military planes.

Might makes right! Just threaten to destroy anyone who doesn't do what you want! 💪

Began Dismantling Healthcare

Trump began dismantling anything and everything related to healthcare. He pulled us out of the WHO. He froze all NIH research. He has forbidden HHS from making any external communications. He rescinded the orders that lowered prescription drug costs through Medicare and Medicaid.

What a boon for snake oil salesmen everywhere! ☠️

Fired at least 18 Inspectors General

Trump proclaimed that one of the main goals of his presidency was to eliminate waste, fraud, and abuse within the government.

Inspectors General are the people who are responsible for investigating waste, fraud, and abuse within the government. So, obviously, Trump fired them without cause (which is illegal, btw).

Trump is the way, the truth, and the light. He alone can see corruption, and he alone can fix it. ♱

Fired Federal Employees who facilitated Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion

In case you were unaware, "DEI" means "Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion". Be sure to fire anyone who dares to give minorities a voice!

White makes Right, I guess? 🤷‍♂️

Sent an email asking federal employees to snitch on one another

The DEI firings were already atrocious enough, but Trump wasn't finished. He was concerned that some people might have slipped through the cracks, so he sent out an email demanding that federal employees snitch on one another and reported suspected "DEI Hires". Failure to comply would result in punishment.

Oh, this is probably unrelated, but several Republicans have been enthusiastically "sieg heiling" lately:

Fortunately, MAGA leadership insists that they are not a Neo-Nazi movement, so therefore it is literally impossible to explain this phenomenon. Weird! 🤔

Indicated that he is going to "Clean Out" Gaza to build the "Riviera of the Middle East"

Trump has asserted that the United States is going to claim the Gaza Strip, and he is going to build luxury hotels on the land.

What about the million+ Palestinians who currently live there? Well, they just have to leave!

Where will they go? Just force Egypt and Jordan to take them in!

https://youtube.com/shorts/lHp2WEnJ8I0?si=0Y5LVfGzw8d4S90t

Froze Federal Aid

Remember that time Trump paused all federal aid and caused a massive crisis across the entire government? That was hilarious!!!

Email telling Federal Employees that they'll be paid to resign

Repeating the tactic that he utilized at Twitter, Elon Musk sent all federal employees the infamous "Fork in the Road" email. Notable excerpts from this email include:

If you resign under this program, you will retain all pay and benefits regardless of your daily workload and will be exempted from all applicable in-person work requirements until September 30, 2025 (or earlier if you choose to accelerate your resignation for any reason).

Type the word “Resign” into the body of this reply email. Hit “Send”.

Of course, this entire claim was legally dubious. Had any federal funding been allocated for this purpose? Nope! Was this a legally binding document? Nope! Could anyone trust that the government would honor this agreement? Nope!

Week 2+

Okay, Week 1 was already insane, but I wanted to quickly mention a few other things that have happened since then:

FUUUUuuuuuccck!!!!

I was expecting to wrap up this post in an hour or so before moving on to a different topic. I've been working on this for over 4 hours now, and I've barely scratched the surface of Trump's cruelty and complete disregard for the rule of law.

But hey -- at least the price of eggs has returned to normal, right?

No? Well, FUCK YOU, I guess. 🤷‍♂️

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